I have many fond EFry memories, most involve our women and plenty of laughter. There is one in particular that remains with me to this day:
In September 2004, I was rushing to get myself organized to head to the Edmonton Remand Centre. Our Prison Liaison Program visits women who are incarcerated there; we bridge the gap between prison and the community, we offer resources and supports and help them to prepare for release. I was still a student at this time and was worried about an upcoming school deadline; plus, I was facilitating what was then our ‘Teen Stoplifting’ program and I was worried about how I was going to recruit girls to participate. In a nutshell – lots on my mind. I was breezing past our drop-in centre getting ready to head out and I stopped in my tracks. You could hear a pin drop in our drop-in, yet it was full of women. …
Our Aboriginal Women’s Program Coordinator at the time had all of our women so thoroughly engaged in traditional beading that the room was so silent it was eerie. The focus was tremendous. I’ve been in rooms with scientists and scholars whose focus couldn’t compare to that of these women. Then, the Coordinator stood up and started talking about the beads and what their traditional meanings were as she was taught by her Elder. The women continued to bead, but you could tell that not a single word was left dangling. They absorbed everything. Their focus remained this way for hours. Yes, I eventually did go to the Remand, but I stood there watching for quite a while. It was an incredible moment for me.
I suppose what was so meaningful about this moment was that, even though I consider myself to be non-judgmental, perhaps I still carried a few generalizations about our women, and this very moment dispelled many of them. Our women can often lack patience: if they want a bus ticket, they pretty much mean that they would like it right now, please and thank you. Due to mental illnesses, and general lifestyle experiences, they often lack the ability to see, “oh, she’s helping another woman right now, I should wait my turn.” Therefore, we often spend a fair amount of time (especially on our busy days), helping to role model these behaviors and we interweave these life skills into the services we offer. So, I suppose that one of the generalizations I had made is that perhaps our women can always work on their patience. But really, can’t we all?!
I have tried beading before. I am horrible at it. I have no….patience…. for it. Yet our women not only found patience to partake in a beading workshop that day, but they also cultivated it along with this peaceful serenity that enveloped the room. It was amazing.
One woman who I was assisting to find a lawyer, who was at her wits end paying for her bills, and who was crying hysterically in our office the day before, was completely transfixed and totally focused on her beading task at hand. Another woman who the day before attempted to access our services but was turned away as she was intoxicated, was clearly sober and entirely attentive at that moment. Each woman around the table had a story like this.
Truthfully, our drop-in, at times can be a bit chaotic. When it’s busy, with 12 or more women present, as was the case this day, I might often describe the drop in as the opposite of quiet. I certainly would not normally use the words serene and calm to describe it on a busy day. So to witness the peacefulness and the attention to detail that our women demonstrated was truly remarkable.
I felt so proud of them. I felt so honoured to be in that room at that moment. These women are amazing, and they teach me lessons like this everyday. Our women have gifts and talents that, when fostered, can blossom into skills that are meaningful to themselves, and to our community. They deserve a chance to foster these skills, though, and they deserve a chance to prove us all wrong! If we are willing to have our eyes opened, as mine were that day in 2004, I know we can see them in a different light, and our community can do more to foster their dignity and worth.
Thank you for reading!
Toni
